Porn At It's Finest
by ELJ Stories
Summary: If you're the kind of person that's into Pokemon-related porn, then this is the story for you!
1. Showertime Bliss

Porn At It's Finest by ELJ Stories

**(Author's Note: What's that? This is a new story? Why yes it is. How it was created, you ask? It's simple. You see, I've been reading a LOT of Pokemon-related porn (don't tell my parents or they'll sue me for being a homosexual). While I was in the shower not too long ago, this idea suddenly popped into my mind. And that's why this story exists. Enough bullcrap. Let's get to the first story.)**

Porno #1: Showertime Bliss

Somewhere in Kalos, Tierno was taking a shower. He was enjoying his time in the shower. In fact, he was enjoying it to the point of playing with himself. He was rubbing his nipples, he was dancing like a male stripper, his eyes were closed, and his tongue was sticking out like he was that giraffe named Miley Cyrus.

Suddenly, Shauna came busting through the door like a crazed lunatic. "Tierno!" she screamed at the top of her lungs. Tierno jumped 5 feet in the air when Shauna abruptly entered the bathroom. "Have you seen my tampon?" Instead of answering her question, Tierno yelled, "Get the hell out! I'm trying to take a shower!" Shauna noticed what he was doing and got a look of distaste on her face. "What on Earth are you doing?! Is that my tampon?!" she asked as she noticed her tampon on his one-eyed horse. "This is a tampon?! I could've sworn it was a condom. Wait a minute! Why do you care about the things I'm doing?" Tierno said at the realization that what he had on his ding-a-ling was not a condom. Shauna blurted out of nowhere, "Because it's sort of turning me on."

Tierno was shocked to hear Shauna say something like that. Regardless, he took the girl and stripped her naked. They wasted little time with kissing passionately. Tierno's tongue was on Shauna's, and they were loving the taste of each other's tongues. As if the situation wasn't hot enough, Tierno was getting a stiffy while Shauna's vagina was pouring waterfalls.

To not waste anymore time, Tierno's sausage went into Shauna's taco. They both moaned loudly as their private parts were having the time of their lives. Back and forth they went. It was too much. How the barrier inside Shauna didn't break at this point is something you should ask Google (and while you're at it, look up echidna penises. Trust me, you won't regret it.).

About 20 minutes later, Tierno felt a tingly feeling in his lightning rod. Shauna had already blasted off twice, but now it was Tierno's turn. "Shauna. I'm about to... OHHHH YEAHHHHH!" he said as his load went into Shauna's womb. They cleaned up their little mess, put on a fresh set of clothes, and left to go hang out with Calem, Serena, and Trevor.


	2. I'm Pretty Sure This Isn't Legal

Porno #2: I'm Pretty Sure This Isn't Legal

After beating the Lumiose City gym, Calem felt like he was on top of the world. It took him 5 tries, but he finally beat Clemont. And he couldn't have done it without his Chesnaught. Being part grass type, it was easy for her to take down her electrical opponents.

To celebrate such an occasion, Calem went to have dinner with his Pokemon. He took them to the fanciest restaurant in the city. Everyone ate like kings that evening.

Once he made it home, he decided to watch a good ol' fashioned movie. Despite seeing this movie a bajillion times, he still loved it to death. However, it put him to sleep halfway through.

He woke up an hour later to find Chesnaught sitting next to him. "Hey there. Having a good night?" Calem asked her. She nodded her head. "Great. And you know what else?" His hand slowly went down her chest. "It's about to get better." Like a miner, he struck gold when his hand made contact with Chesnaught's hoo ha. This little action caused the grass and fighting type to moan louder than any slut you find in Vegas. Those fingers of Calem's went deeper into her wet cavern.

To return the favor, Chesnaught stripped Calem of his clothes, opened wide, and started sucking on his wiener. The BJ made Calem's eyes cross in ecstacy. That tongue of hers really knew what it was doing.

Later, when they got bored of oral sex, they went straight to the main course. Calem's weewee slammed through Chesnaught's barrier like a wrecking ball. It hurt the poor girl, but that pain soon turned into pleasure. Their moans could be heard from outside.

Before he knew it, Calem was getting close to blowing his load. "Here it comes!" he yelled before his sperm went sky high. The two were exhausted from their pleasure-filled experience. "That was probably illegal, but who cares? It was fun, and that's... the only... thing that... matters." The lovers passed out on the bed and enjoyed a nice slumber.


	3. That's So Gay

Porno #3: That's So Gay

Aw man! My parents are gonna murder me when they find out my secret. What if they take Talonflame away? What if they ground me from my Xbox for a year? Arceus, why is life so difficult?!

I'm assuming you don't know what I'm talking about. Well, to put it in a nutshell, I had this thing called gay sex with my Talonflame. You're probably asking, "Why is that a bad thing?". The thing is, my parents are die-hard Christians. If they even saw me touching a dude in a certain way, my butt is as good as gone.

So how did it happen, you ask? I guess I can tell you since you already know my dirty little secret. It all started on a Friday night.

Back then, things were a lot different. I wasn't homo (obviously), and neither was my Talonflame. Life was so simple. But then, my Talonflame went through his heat cycle. Apparently, the guy was suffering from this yearly pain in the behind for about 2 weeks, and I was too idiotic to catch any of his signals. Heck, he even had an arrow pointing right at his erect dong. Guess what? I didn't get it. I can be such a moron. That explains all of the F's and D's I get in school.

Anyways, things started going one direction (and that direction was south, by the way) at around 9:30 p.m. My parents always go to bed at 9:00, so Talonflame most likely had his plan thought out pretty well (clever bastard). I was playing Call of Duty like every other 9-year old boy when Talonflame slighty pecked my cheek. "Not now, Talonflame. I'm trying to shoot down some noobs." I told him. Again, he pecked my cheek. However, this one was a little more powerful. "I said not now. Can't you see I'm trying to kill some- HEY! Who's the freaking jerk that threw that grenade?!" Talonflame left my room with a depressed look on his face. I hated seeing my best buddy upset, so I turned off my Xbox.

I found Talonflame in the bathroom. "Hey buddy. Is everything alright?" He whimpered. "I'm sorry for ignoring you. You know how I am with Call of Duty." I reminded him. He nodded his head in agreement. He knew better than anybody that I was the best Call of Duty player in Kalos. "Tell you what. How about I take a break from the game and hang out with you. It is the weekend, after all." The minute I said that, Talonflame's frown turned upside down.

We headed back to my room. Suddenly, I felt something push me onto the bed. I was flipped to my back and felt a feeling I've never felt before. Talonflame was kissing me. It was kinda hard since he had a beak, but we eventually found a way around it. This is what my parents are so afraid of? Talk about a bunch of wimps. I'm pretty sure this is no different than kissing a girl.

Then, I felt something poking my stomach. It was that dong of his that he showed me not too long ago. Suddenly, the room got a lot cooler when Talonflame took off my shirt and shorts (because shorts are comfy). And just like that, my boxers met the same fate.

Like a turd that just won't get out of my buttocks, I felt a stinging feeling in my butthole when Talonflame put his ding ding in me. I have never been in so much pain before. But, like a miracle, it went away. In fact, I started to like this new feeling. He was hitting me in the right spot every single time. Suddenly, I had this urge to pee. However, it wasn't pee. Instead, it was some gooey white stuff.

Finally, I felt some of that stuff enter my butthole. It was soothing. We laid in my bed because we were pooped out. "Gosh. If only we could do that again." I said before hitting the hay.


	4. Having Romantic Feelings For Your Bro

Porno #4: Having Romantic Feelings For Your Bro

Ow! Not again. I thought this was behind me. If you can't tell, I'm in heat. And every Pokemon knows that when you're in heat, your drives for sex go through the roof. It happens to us Quilavas every summer (that's kind of ironic if you think about it).

This is only my second year, so I haven't gotten used to the unbearable pain yet. But it's weird. I managed to survive my first year through masturbation. However, this year's a little different, apparently. Despite fingering myself until I came this morning, my hole still aches for penis. This wouldn't be a problem if I had a dude with me. Unfortunately, every guy has either found a girl to ride until this heat blows over, or they're long gone. And that means that I'm stuck with masturbating. Then again, my older brother isn't... Damn it! Snap out of it! Not only is that disgusting, but it's also desperate.

You see, me and my brother don't exactly live a happy life together. You know how it is. It's basically the classic case of sibling rivalry. He always says that he's better than me at everything. Brawn-wise, it's true. But brain-wise, it's a completely different story. I'm often considered the brains in the family. Regardless of what my brother thinks, I'm cool with being the smart one.

I laid in my room like I did every other day. Arceus, I'm so bored. Every game I have (yes, I am what's considered a girl gamer) is boring now, I don't feel like writing fanfics, and going outside is too mainstream. Thirty minutes of doing nothing later, that damn burning sensation in my crotch comes back. "I hate these heat cycles!" I screamed. I guess I'm gonna have to go to the bathroom. Again.

However, the second I tried to open the door, I found out that it was locked. "Be patient! Can't you tell that I'm taking a number two?!" my brother yelled. "TMI." I said, grossed out by what he said. So much for immediate relief.

Fifteen minutes go by, and my freaking brother is STILL in the bathroom. Arceus, does he have diarrhea or something?! Then, I hear the door open. "I'm out. Happy now?" he said. I ignored him, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. Of course, he forgot to put down the seat. But now isn't the time. I've gotta relieve my burning crotch.

I moaned as my fingers entered my vagina. This was definitely worth waiting 15 minutes for. In fact, I was moaning a little louder than I normally do. I guess waiting longer to jack off increases the pleasure you get. Then, I felt a familiar tingling. Just as I was about to explode, I hear a knock on the door. My face turns 50 shades of pale. "Sis. What're you doing in there?" my brother asked. "None of your damn business!" I yelled as my face turns red. I washed my hands and got out of the bathroom. I ran past my brother and went straight to my room.

I've never been so embarrassed before. I was THIS close to being found out. Like before, I heard knocking. "What's your freaking problem?" my brother asked. "I don't have a problem! If anyone has issues, it's you!" I lied. "Uh huh. Sis. May I come in?" he said. I couldn't believe my ears. He never asks nicely for anything. I guess there's a first for everything.

I let him in my room. He walked to my bed and took a seat. "I know what you're going through. I can smell it from my room." he told me. No use in hiding the truth. "What do you suggest?" I asked. He answered, "This might make me sound like I'm drunk, but I have an idea." He paused for a moment. "Maybe I should... well, help with your problem." I knew it! This was bound to happen at some point. I'm so glad that our parents aren't in town right now. Otherwise, we would be in deep shit. "I understand." I agreed, despite my beliefs.

Without wasting time, I got into the appropriate position. "Someone's eager." he said. "Shut up." I said playfully. And just like that, I felt something entering my wet cavern. Fuck, this was too much for a girl like me. He's tearing my walls apart. Then, I felt him poking my hymen. "This is gonna hurt." he warned. "Just do it already." I said, not wanting to waste anymore time. And then, my virginity went out the door. I screamed my freaking head off. I'm positive that the whole neighborhood heard me.

The pain. How can I describe it? Well, imagine being strangled while having a stomachache. It did not feel good. Anyways, as the pain went away, my pleasure went up. I felt like I was in Heaven. I came pretty quickly thanks to that unfinished masturbation from earlier. I knew my brother was meaty, but I didn't think that also applied to his penis. I think I blasted off like 3 more times until I felt my brother's sausage acting up. "Sis. I'm getting close." he said. "It's okay if you cum inside me." I tell him.

After a few more strokes, I felt strings of white jelly entering my womb. We both had stupid grins on our faces. "That wasn't so bad." I said. "But we're not telling mom or dad." My brother said, "Agreed."


	5. Dat Crap Ain't Funny

Porno #5: Dat Crap Ain't Funny

**Warning: The following porno is fucked up beyond repair. If you get offended by this (though I wouldn't be surprised if you did), I'm sorry in advance. If you enjoy this, then you are one sick bastard. And one more thing. This is a parody of a fanfic with a certain hedgehog and a certain electrical mouse. Moving on!**

Marriage. It's the best thing that any Pokemon can go through. After years upon years of searching, you find someone that you would do anything for. In my case, the lover of my dreams was a female Absol. Oh, how rude of me. I haven't even introduced myself. I am also an Absol. However, I lack boobs and a vagina. To replace those parts, I have a penis and ballsack. Now, I believe it's story time.

It was the day before me and my lovely mate were supposed to get married. I found myself lying on a field of grass. The way the grass felt on my backside was heavenly. I looked at the evening sky above me. "And to think that only a year ago, I believed that I would never find true love," I said to myself as I thought about my future. I pictured it all. The honeymoon, the sex, the family, and all those other things I'm too lazy to describe. However, thinking about sex kind of made my little buddy pop out. "Great. Now I'm horny." I knew my boner wouldn't go away until I pleased it, so I thought about masturbating. But then I thought, "_Nah. That would be too easy._" The thought of having sex with my lover came next. However, I remembered that she wanted to wait for children.

Just as I was about to give up, a lone Eevee showed up. It appeared to be chasing a butterfly. Typical animals. At that moment, I found a certain body part on it's crotch. As the Eevee was jumping around, I discovered that it was a she. That just made my crave for fucking something senseless increase. I slowly walked to the young thing. "Hello there. What are you doing out here all by your lonesome?" The Eevee's attention was on me the second I said that. However, she didn't respond to my question. I guess she wasn't a very talkative Pokemon. "It's okay. I promise I won't hurt you." What she did next was beyond my expectations. The little brat started to run for the hills. "Hey!" I tried to do things the nice way, but the little bitch thought she was too good for that. I ran after her. Of course, since I've had more time with running, I easily caught up to the Eevee. I grabbed onto her ears violently. "Nobody runs from me!"

I slammed her back to the ground. "I tried to do this the easy way. But you've left me no choice." Without hesitation, I thrust my dick into her vagina. She screamed in pain as I broke her hymen. "Ooh, you're a virgin. This'll make this a LOT better." Those vaginal walls were crushing my penis. And I was loving every second of it. Hell, if it weren't for my lover, I would've chosen the Eevee over her. Speaking of the Eevee, she screamed like the little bitch she was. That's all she pretty much did. It was music to my ears.

A few moments later, I felt like my penis would erupt any minute. I didn't even give the Eevee a warning. I just came in her until I couldn't cum anymore. But I wasn't done with her. She tried to make a run for it, but like last time, I caught her. This time, however, I broke her legs just in case she would try to run again. Her mouth tried to produce a scream, but thanks to all of that screaming from earlier, all that came out was a scratchy gasp. "You aren't going anywhere, you little bitch." And for added measures, I knocked her unconscious. I'm positive that I broke her skull, but I didn't give a damn.

I opened her mouth and shoved my cock in there. To say that her mouth was warm would be an understatement. I pounded my meat in her mouth like I was never gonna see tomorrow. The feeling was too excellent for words. Unfortunately, just as I was close to cumming, she gained consciousness and bit on my penis. "Ow!" I grabbed a rock that was nearby and slammed it on her head. Blood was pouring from the wound. Seconds later, I came in her mouth. I took my penis out and looked at the damage she caused. Apparently, that little bitch bit down on my penis pretty hard. Blood was leaking from the teeth-shaped holes. "Look what you did to me. Good going, you little cunt." I punched her in the face before spitting on her. I walked away and moved on with my life.

The next day, me and my wife got married as planned. To put it in simple terms, we lived happily ever after. And as for that Eevee. Who fucking cares? She could kill herself for all I care.


End file.
